| Where are all the people?! | 1 comment |
 26 Sep 2010 @ 16:04It’s a small town. I am at the nearest local pub, listening to the pub owner’s wailing about tough economic times. We are only 2-3 guests at this pub, besides the bartender who is the daughter of the owner. This part of town has only a few pubs left, but they equally struggle because of the guests staying away. And it seems that this trend is getting worse. Still after the turn of the millennia, only 5-10 years ago, apparently you needed to edge in sideways and elbow through the crowd of people to order your beer. There was a busy kitchen, a restaurant, large parties held and loads of guests in the pub every night. It is similar in the other local pubs and restaurants too. They are almost empty. Home delivery is their only hope to survive. It is not much fun then to visit them either. It is kind of strange around here for a woman to go alone to the pub – but being an independent woman I hardly care. However, they mostly like me as I like to listen to their stories with some genuine interest, so I easily make friends. But unfortunately there are not many people to talk to and the range of subjects is also more limited around survival issues: mostly about the messy economics and administration, finding or keeping a work and justice – getting along in a difficult world. But still, how come pubs are empty now and have been full 5-10 or more years ago? It is explained that the economic situation turned worse, people have no or less money, they struggle to survive with their families so there is no money left to go to the pub or a restaurant. And they are burned out, so they don’t go out anymore, but sit at home and that’s that. I am not sure that this is the case. My theory is that it is not only a money issue. People had not much more money 5-10 years ago either, so how come that the restaurants and pubs have been full around here? Whatever they say, they did not have much more to spend. They rather had more willingness to spend it, more hope for the future, more vigor, more feeling of abundance - more life! It is obvious, that in the last years people seem to have become more introverted, turned more isolated, and minding their own business or that of their family. It is easier to meet someone at the hypermarket or a shopping mall than in a pub with pals. Let’s face it, certain technologies and developments aid that introverted way of life too. Computers, Internet, virtual games and communities, play stations, TV series, and more TV series... creativity is not much needed, you just push a button and you get entertained. It is much harder to go to a pub, and listen to others, agree or disagree, get your opinion across, and stand up for it if you have one. At home, at little cost or effort, you can immerse is your favorite substitute universe, created for you by others, you are not bothered, do not need to think or empathize or defend, don’t need to listen to the opinions of idiots, they can keep it for themselves, and you can be left alone in peace... just inflow, slurp it in. Let’s face it, what happens when you go to a pub? You get in contact with others - some of them you like or sympathize with, some you don’t like or can’t stand. Some you would avoid at all costs if you had a choice… But there are some interesting people you like to talk to. And you either talk or listen. If you listen, what do you have to listen to? People walk up to you, telling about their life, their narrative or story, which is mostly about succeeding in life or troubles along the way, the way they are messed with at the workplace, loosing or getting a job, the economic issues they face, mortgage rates going up, minorities, discrimination, injustice, troubles with the opposite sex, or the favorite sport club loosing again. If you decide to talk, when you originate your opinion, it is often challenged, opposed, straight invalidated, or you even might get ridiculed, laughed at or excluded. And there is the random stuff, someone attacking you physically or verbally, smoke blown in your face, toes get stepped on. So you need some integrity, some vigor, some willingness to have a game, some empathy, regard for the viewpoint of the other or willingness to have a good debate or fight. Or even more, you need to take charge of a conversation, to reach an agreement, without loosing your own viewpoint. Now that is hard work. As opposed to that, what do you need when you just stay at home after work, with those cheap beers you just bought at the hypermarket or discounter store? You need your eyeballs open, stuck to a TV screen or a computer monitor, and a finger to click the remote control or the browse button. Maybe a few fingers more if you are playing a video game. And a strict policy so no one dares to disturb you when you face a screen. That is it. But where does that lead to? I am afraid, that if it continues this way at a mass scale, then this playing ground, this universe might get rather abandoned. More and more turn away the games played here and sink into a substitute world, which they are not really controlling, as it is created by someone else. It happened before… But where will these people end up? It is possible that they will not even be part of a common universe anymore, but disappear in some personalized substitute worlds – arriving at a complete inversion of a unique, self created home universe of an individual god? Practically this means, that more pubs will close, and this world will be a more and more lonely place... Or not? There are also hopeful signs that more and more people think similarly about all this, and they take the time and care and effort involved to come together, share their views, reach agreements and play the game. Only issue is that a growing number of these communities are in virtual space, given that the members live all over the world – which makes even more of us stick in front of a computer screen at our desks, if we want to stay connected to our friends. But I want the ambiance of live pubs, live cafés, with lots of life and possibility to meet old and new friends! There could be a combination of old and new ways: real-time online places where pub goers could virtually come together, each sitting in their local pub, leaning on the familiar oak bar, sipping a familiar local beer, while being connected through a camera and headset, talking to like minded friends also sitting in their local pub. Unfortunately there is also a time zone issue – but one can take a tea if it is still morning. But that is still not the same than meeting and communicating live, face to face. The question is open: is the time for real pubs and cafés and nights-talked-through over some drinks with friends start to be over?! More > |
| How far can you go? | 1 comment |
 15 Nov 2009 @ 23:45I have not written much lately, reason being that I cannot (or should not) type. One of my shoulders suffered a hard blow and got crippled last Monday in a sport accident. The doctors advised me of course not to move at all for about three to six weeks – doctors are known to give realistic, easy-to-keep advices… So here I am, after only a short week, doing the chores around the house, typing away on the computer, playing piano, gardening. As my body is not used to sitting around, I even tried some light workout, all in an effort trying to rest the bad shoulder. So, how have I got into that situation? Truth of the matter is that I have made a mistake. Not even one, but actually a whole bunch of mistakes, resulting in the accident. It actually turned out quite lucky in compare to the circumstances. I fell under and was simply run over by my horse – and horses tend to be heavy when they trample over a shoulder. At this time I was able to conclude from a subjective experience that one needs to omit a whole bunch of safety precautions in order to manage a nice accident. It is not enough to make just one small error. It is a whole list of things that have to be overlooked, causing trouble. What have I learned? Well, a lesson, that in technical sports one always needs to check the equipment and take the usual precautions. Regardless of all those years of experience, one should not get too cocky. Regardless of being an expert, one just needs to play by the rules, as the physical world is cruel and unforgiving. Yesterday I went back to my sport club and chatted to some people about what happened. In an honest mood, I confessed all the mistakes that lead to the accident. I also added that it can happen despite more than 20 years of experience. At that point an intellectual looking college student-type girl, overhearing the conversation asked, how could one err so badly? She nailed me, telling it’s simply NOT POSSIBLE to make such mistakes, especially when one is so experienced. So there I was, my sole reality questioned. It’s not possible. So maybe it did not happen? But it did. Her question raised my interest. So if it’s not possible – how could it happen anyway? I started to look at it philosophically. How come, we know exactly what to do, how to do something correctly – still we just don’t do it? How come we don’t care sometimes and go into all kind of dangerous situations, and see if we can pull it off? The proverb “to err is human” did no satisfy me. I looked for some deeper answers. Then I asked around from my friends, and the answers I got confirmed my ideas. It seems to me there are the following reasons: One: We like to stretch the limits. Yes, we do. And it seems that without doing that, there is not much progress. Playing it safe has not brought any breakthroughs for mankind. Most discoveries, forward steps in history were involving some risky business. Two: We like to learn. The desire to learn is a deep and ancient need. It saturates most of our experiences. And how can one ever progress or learn, after having fully mastered an area, and always using “best practices”? Sometime we choose to learn by letting things slip a bit, so new situations can emerge, that we need to figure out. It involves taking risks of course, and sometimes “bad” things happen. But, some learning always results. Three: We like surprises – to experience something new. It’s simply not much excitement to always know the next event. After a while it’s boring to have total control. When the behavior of something is fully predictable, a large part of the fun is gone. So one needs to set up situations with some unpredictable factors, so surprise gets a chance. And so we create some fun – sometimes the outcome is a little hard on the body, but we must admit it is still fun. Ask any racer. Actually the three reasons are very similar, coming from a basic polarity. There are two ends of the pendulum swing: one is to keep total order, to get everything fully under control. The other end is to see how far can one go with it? And the pendulum swings, back and forth. We learn how to control an area – then we reach a point where it is “too much”, too predictable – and we start to swing toward the other end, let it go out of control to some degree and stretch the limits. The long and short of it, if you want to play it safe, if you don’t want surprises then learn your subject well and play by the rules. Check and double check your equipment, and do the usual. But if you are ready for some fun, unpredictable changes, learn some new things, involving some risks, then by any means, go for it! I will not even add, to know your limits – I know it is exactly the question: what are the limits!? More > |
| Life reboot - Part 3: Recognizing the trap | 5 comments |
| 31 Oct 2009 @ 15:09 Part 1: Waking up Part 2: The trap Have you ever felt like you are dragging yourself through life? Well, I have. On Mondays I wished it was Friday already. When the weekend finally came I got soon bored and it passed by so quickly I hardly noticed. In the autumn I looked forward the winter holidays, in the winter, I was dreaming about the summer, and when it was summer, I did not even notice it passing by. Do you have the feeling that your life is stopped by barriers? I had that often. I felt like I am not yet ready to go – there are obstacles I must overcome or solve first, before I can really create my life. As Father Alfred D Souza expressed it: "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin.” – does it sound familiar? I was waiting for as sign, something unexpected to happen, a miracle to turn my life around. I imagined and dreamed of all the good stuff I wanted, placed it in the future or in some kind of nirvana that may materialize if I really deserve it. I was unconsciously trying to avoid living in the moment... More > |